In the midst of a typical day, I think I have about 1,000,001 different thoughts and emotions run through my mind. Do you ever wonder, am I normal? Is this a typical every day pattern for the average woman or am I just… weird? Am I really a “glass half empty” person when I try so hard to be a “glass half full-er”? And who the heck determines what’s normal anyway?
I’m lucky, truly lucky. In my rational brain, I know this for SURE. I have an amazing husband. Two beautiful, smart little girls. I’m educated. I own my own home. Run a rental business as well as my “fun” Direct Sales biz. But I would consider myself more of an anxious person, depressed. Beyond each of those affirmations comes the nay.
- I have an amazing husband. But man he gets crabby with me, and maybe he just couldn’t find anyone better. Oh the insecurities!
- Two beautiful smart little girls. But they have sensory
processing disorder and ADHD. I must have done something wrong while pregnant. It’s my fault. I’m a terrible Mom.
- I’m educated. I have my bachelors but I should have gone on like I’d planned to get my masters. Can I even remember all that stuff?
- I own my own home. I don’t keep it clean enough. There’s too much clutter. It needs this, and that, and the other thing.
- I run a rental business as well as my “fun” Direct Sales biz. I know I work hard but I could work harder, provide MORE for my family. Be more social. I probably work TOO much and that’s damaging for my family.
The question is… WHY? Why do we beat ourselves up even when giving ourselves positive affirmations? And in the next thought – am I the only one feeling this way? Back and forth in my mind to the point where you get lost in the contradicting feelings. Why do our heads and our hearts become so at war with each other? According to my husband, guys do not think like this. Well Yippy!! We are the lucky ones apparently. Moms, Wives, Women in general just don’t give ourselves a break!!
Perfectionism is addicting, none of us stop to question it’s faulty logic. It’s unattainable, yet we strive for it. It makes you think you’re in control; only it’s the one driving. It’s not the same as self-improvement or wanting to be your best. You are motivated by the desire to please others, earn approval and acceptance rather than to please yourself.
Don’t get me started on the complete and utter failure most of us think we are at being Moms. I know we all have that ONE friend that seems like a perfect Pinterest Board brought to life -why the heck aren’t we like them?
Raise your hands – how many of you think that you’ve probably irrevocably screwed up your kiddos for life? Yup, I’m raising both of my hands.
Do I have the answer? Nope. I struggle Every. Single. Day. But I DO try to keep my head above that imaginary line between treading water and drowning. How do I do that? That is what I CAN share.
- I try to remind myself that my kids are loved, beyond words. They are healthy and I’ve surrounded them with the most positive loving people I can. And I cannot, nor will I ever be perfect.
- Marriage is HARD and it takes work and compromise, but hubs and I choose to spend our lives together and created a family. We do our best. And I cannot, nor will I ever be perfect.
- I put positive quotes up on my wall at work, at home, wherever I spend the most time as a visual reminder to keep positive. And I cannot, nor will I ever be perfect.
- I do my best to be healthy, because I know that a healthy body is just as important as a healthy mind. I’m no Skinny Minny but being skinny or fat now-a-days doesn’t equate to health. And I cannot, nor will I ever be perfect.
- I journal and talk about my feelings, and yes I cry. A lot. I let it out and work on letting it go. And I cannot, nor will I ever be perfect.
- I include as much humor into my life as I can. Silly, juvenile, potty talking, gut burning, laughter can be the BEST medicine! But I cannot, nor will I ever be perfect.
- I love hard, I care, and I try not to let the hurts harden me. I try to keep my walls down. I stay empathetic to others and work on empathy for myself. But I cannot, nor will I ever be perfect.
Do I still try? You betcha I do. I think we all do! That’s why I try to remind myself so often that perfection is a word some moron made up to torture us. Human perfection just does not exist. Tell your brain to knock off the negativity accompanying those positive affirmations you work so hard to give yourself.
I strive for Contentment, Happiness, Comfort, to Love and Be Loved, to Find My Worth and Fulfillment, Be Enough for ME, and to just be the Healthiest in life that I can be. Realize that working towards our goals and being willing to put ourselves out there are accomplishments. Give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back for trying, making progress, and working on the amazing person that is YOU.
Let me know how YOU live your healthiest life!
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